I guess it's what society expects you to do; move out of your parents house, get married and procreate. I guess I never saw my life in that straight of a line (well maybe I did when I was 12 and had a relatively simple understand of what I wanted out of life). My life was more focused on moving out of the state of Idaho, finishing college, getting a job that didn't make me feel like a worthless piece of crap everyday, going back to school, finding a job that paid me enough money to buy a house, buying a house, and that's as far as I've gotten so far. Somewhere along the way I forgot the part about cultivating a relationship with someone that I could one day marry and I definitely forgot to pick up the procreating gene. I get it that I'm only 30 and there is lots of life left to live but I'm starting to feel like I've missed the boat. It's like I just woke up and looked around me and everyone is already paired up and making babies. I feel the need to try and catch up but am finding it hard to even go on a date with someone that doesn't make me want to curl up in a hole and give up on dating forever. Dating in Seattle in your late 20s, early 30s is rough if you don't like self proclaimed geeks, pasty white people who play to many video games in a basement aka gamers, short Asians or overzealous outdoorsmen. I've never considered myself to have a "type" when it comes to who I would date but I definitely know after trying online dating that I definitely have a type that I don't want to date. What happened to all the "normal" guys, the ones that are a "catch"? Oh that's right, someone already caught them. I'm so mad at myself for spending the past 5 years with a "gamer" when the last few remaining "normal" guys were still floating around. Had I known that there would be tons of "gamers" left to pick from, I would have dumped him sooner. A lot sooner. What was I thinking?!?!?
The other day I was set up on a blind date that was promised to be a) better than my recent speed dating experience (that's a whole other story) and b) in a group setting as to avoid any blind date awkwardness. It was b) in a group setting- a bunch of people who were all about 5-6 years younger than me and all in or finishing a graduate program. Therefore, I had nothing to talk to them about because they were all still babies and when a reference to World of Warcraft came up, I had no idea what they were talking about. I felt like the old lady who got invited to hang out with the young crowd. I was also asked what I do to "geek-out". That question has been haunting me ever since it was proposed to me because for once I didn't have an answer. I literally said I don't "geek-out" but if I did, I'd "geek-out" on fashion/shoes. Wow, I felt like a total and utter looser when I said that.
I'm also getting really sick of all my married or permanently-paired friends saying that I'm being too picky or too obsessive about this online dating thing. What do they know about online dating? It was just becoming acceptable when they shacked up with their current significant other and they have no idea how time consuming, exhausting and sometimes devastating it can be. Also, it's really unnatural to strike up a conversation with someone via email after what feels like cyberstalking. Online dating is not natural. Giving your phone number to some dude who just bought you 3 lemon drops shots at the bar while you scream at each other over the music is WAY more natural. The secret is to take a picture of them with your camera phone and then in the morning when you've sobered up or when he calls (if he calls) you can see what he looks like without the beer (or this case, the lemon drop) goggles. Those pictures have saved me from several bad dates or from beating myself up because they didn't call.
